Grown up

“Good bye mum”, said the boy who was not a boy any more
She put up a brave face, but her heart was heavy
She knew this day would come, since the day she held him for the first time
She had let him go, very reluctantly and only barely

She turned around to face an empty house
A house she spent twenty years making into a home
She looked around and saw nothing but loneliness
She clung to the memories, the memories they made together

“Give him up for adoption”, they all said
“A single mom, a scandal, a gossip, that’s all this will be.
You are too naive, children need a family, they said
You are an orphan yourself, no one to call your own”

She struggled for days, she knew it was going to be hard
But she wanted to cling on to this child
The first person she could call her own ever in her life
After spending a life in foster homes and orphanages

He had been her joy and her pride
Every reason to live to and to smile
Things got better, she got a job and then a house
They grew up together, holding onto each other, learning from one another

She remembered he was gone, to a college, he so badly wanted to
His room still smelled of him, she half hoped he would come in through the door
“I hope you made something nice for dinner today”, he would say
She closed the door and the memories and left them in his room

She walked past the door and noticed something she hadn’t before
Their makeshift height chart that they made when they couldn’t afford one
She caressed the numbers and the years, so lovingly written
Her little boy had grown, but so had she, every single time

She made up her mind, she had worked and provided all her life
Always put his needs before hers, there were no regrets
She always wanted to travel the world, but hadn’t been able to
She turned on the laptop, and booked her first trip ever, to Ireland!